me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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