And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
