This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
