Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
