Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
