Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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