i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
