I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
