I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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