Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
