I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
