the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
