seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
