a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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