I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
