Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
