His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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