your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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