theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
