I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
