craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
