Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
