the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
