sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
