Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
