i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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