So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
