Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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