you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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