margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
