I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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