This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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