we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
