After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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