I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
