is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Found the puke drawer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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