ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
