i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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