the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
