I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize