that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
