i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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