oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize