Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
