The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
