Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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