Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
