I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
dude. I can hear the air.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
