Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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