But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
