But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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