I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I want a musical about memes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
