Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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