shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
