is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
