So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize