found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize