I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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