Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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