dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i will never coherently bang her
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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