Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Sober January is a disaster.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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