The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
