We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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