I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
