Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
